Mumbai Mirror reads this site for its sex and relationship columns.
To make out or not to make out, is not the question at all! The real question in front of the Indian youth is WHERE to make out! With a right to privacy as non-existent as black in Kapil Sibal’s hair and nosiness of neighbours, aunties, kaamwali bais and watchmen itself being fuck awesome, bechaare young Indians have to be enterprising and daring with their choice of make out venue.
At the same time, making out in places hitherto unthought of has a thrill of its own. Even if you have space of your own where you often get action, spice up things by taking it to the next level. Including I-have-heard-of-this to OMG-are-you-serious! here is a list of places to make out at that will give you stories to tell, tune up your alertness (or spidey sense) and make you feel fuck awesome! Feel free to try out all! We already have ;)
A no brainer. Whether it is a club, disco or a swanky restaurant, you are drunk, your partner is drunk and both can’t wait! The music is loud, the lights are dim, there are ideas in the head and tingling on the skin. In a city like Mumbai or Delhi, you may start with your antics on the dance floor, your bar stools, dinner table or…
Shift to your car! Give your driver 20 bucks and ask him to get a cigarette (you weren’t planning on driving drunk, were you?) while you get down to it in the backseat, front seat or the dikki! The thrill of a car make out session is mostly already had by all youngsters in India. Keeping an eye out for the hawaldar that may come, shooing off street urchins peering into your car parked at Marine Drive in the monsoons HAS to be experienced!
Or, you could shift to the bar’s restroom! Be careful though! Unlike in movies where the characters are, by some miracle, ALREADY in a restroom cubicle, in real life, you have to make sure you are not stopped by the restroom attendant. Women’s loos are safer than men’s because, men don’t talk in the loo and your noise will hence be heard! But, you don’t have to restrict your restroom antics to a bar! You go to office or college, don’t you?
If you are a fan of Savita Bhabhi, you know what I am talking about. Office romance, more often than not, HAPPENS! And office make out sessions do follow. We are humans after all. We make places where we can’t find them. From your office desk to your office restroom to the office parking lot. But please do not get caught! You will lose your job and you maybe sued. Although, I am sure, when they bring you to court, the judge in the chair will give you a knowing smirk.
You may have missed this chance if you are already out of college. From sports rooms to the back of the college canteen to the college library, ‘finding your niche’ assumes a whole new meaning when in college. The library is a special favourite since it is the least used place in an Indian college. Restrooms in colleges are stinky! Yet, if that is where you have to go, that is where you have to go. Again, don’t get caught. You will be expelled and your parents might be called for. Which is a little worse than being sued.
#6 Rickshaw/ Cab
If you don’t have a car, or simply for the heck of it, get into public transportation! Listen to this song if you want ideas or justification. Mostly, you will just relate to everything it says. Let me not say much.
#7 A/C Bus
That is very specific, no? The joy of a local A/C bus in India is unparalleled. Choose a route that is not very busy and has both the A/C and non A/C bus options. Choose a time that is not very busy. Get on at the starting stop. Get in the backseat. Close windows. Get a return ticket till the last stop. Ignore conductor after getting tickets. Play songs on mobile and share headphones. Let your hands roam.
As a make out place, a bus is more advanced than a cab. An aeroplane is more advanced than a bus. Especially if it is a long distance night flyer. But, in our country we don’t fly much. And I think, we will be more interested in a train! With overnight journeys that let you have lights off and with berths that let you really stretch out, what you can do in a train will only by limited by your imagination. You will start viewing the rocking of the train and the constant chuchuk chuchuk in a different light!
#9 Friend’s Place
Ever sheepishly (or not) asked for keys to a friend’s khaali house? Or imposed your company as a couple on a friend who stays away from parents? Fikar not dear, you aren’t alone! Since our parent’s generation, a genuinely generous dost is the one who gives you access to home, hearth and bedroom. Beware though. You will HAVE to return the favour.
#10 Public Garden
On the opposite end of the spectrum from a public restroom, a public garden offers anonymity in a crowd. Most cities in India will have gardens visited by families as separate from gardens visited by couples. In various stages of shyness, undress and tongue, the one thing that will protect you from being caught in such a place is a simple question, “Mujhe pakda thik hai, lekin tum wahaan kya kar rahe the?” Just in case, carry insect repellent.
#11 Water Bodies
Another popular make out place is the quintessential water body. River banks, lake side, beaches and promenades. From the infamous Bandra Bandstand to your local lake hotspot, if there is water, people will make out around it. Again, such places offer anonymity in a crowd. Watch out for the hawaldar that may sneak up behind you.
#12 Parent’s House
The ultimate place, one that tests your resolve, your love (lust?) and your skill in surreptitious making out, is your parent’s place! Whether you are living with your parents or visiting them; whether you are married, courting or just seeing someone, making out while you are at your parent’s place is one hell of an experience! Try doing it while your parents are home and you shall get the Fuck Awesome! Medal of Honour! You will have to send in a video of your endeavour though.
Home is where the heart is
Whether you are a cold feet coward or a bindaas braveheart, you will find a place or two of your comfort in the list above. The thrill of getting caught in an outdoor setting is a turn on for many. And then there is the lure of being somewhere else other than your home. The variety that you experience is fuck awesome by itself.
Yet, you have to take care of a few things. For one, while you are excited at the prospect of making out in your office store-room or the backseat of your car, make sure your partner is comfortable as well. An unwilling partner should not be forced into anything. At the same time, make sure you are not making others feel awkward around you, especially if you get caught a lot. If it is going to be a partner you do not know very well, using protection is a fuck awesome idea.
What other places outside your home come to your mind when we are talking about making out?
Always carry mint!
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